The sunny side of life

I just read an article advocating extreme moderation that came just in time. Lately I am trying to settle a quarrel that has been going on for a while now between the voice that says that I’m a spoiled princess that does not want to face life’s hardships, and the other voice (probably the spoiled princess’ :p ) that says I have struggled enough and I am at a point in my life where knowing my skills and my worth allow me to not do the things that I don’t want to do. Of course all jobs have up sides and down sides, but I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about having to do something that my whole being revolts against.

Stay-On-The-Sunny-Side-Of-Life

Now I’m wondering who’s voice is the one fighting for me to suck it up. Is it society? In the competitive world that we are living easy is shameful. And I feel guilty every time I look around and realize I have a pretty easy life. I haven’t always had it, but now I do. And I feel guilty for enjoying my own life. WtF?!? This is the point where the article shed some light. We live in a competitive world where everything is being pushed to extremes. Whether work or leisure, it has to be extraordinary. And I just don’t want extraordinary. I want to enjoy my hobbies whenever I feel like it, not excelling at them, just play around. I wanna have time to waste. My best ideas come while being a bit bored. I want to enjoy the loved one’s company just for the sake of being around them. We don’t need to do anything special, we don’t need to focus and plan on quality time. Sharing a smile, giving a hug, listening to someone talking the language that comes natural for them to build the bridge of communication, that is just enough.

Who’s voice is the one saying it has to be hard to be true. That is has to be earned to have value. I haven’t earned my husband, but been swept away by him. I haven’t earned my mind, still it is precious for the way it works. Trust me, this is beyond practice, it’s native. I haven’t earned my blue eyes, still they are one of my best features. I haven’t earned my loving parents. The list can go on, an they are all things of great value in my life. We have been thought somewhere along the way that receiving is bad. Charity is shameful and all that we receive instead of earning is charity.

How about we start receiving things with a graceful thank you. How about we stop evaluating and measuring and just stay in the present. How about we stop making amends and compromise and instead stay true to ourselves? If this is the Princess that doesn’t want to face life’s hardships, then I ‘ll go with her, thank you. There are enough wrong things in this world for me to stand in line for that. I’ll just go stand in the other line where there is joy and laughter. I’ve made my choice.

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The magical place of Elsewhere

At one point in my life there was this elsewhere that started sounding so promising. Elsewhere was a place where I could find my dream. It was the place where I could do whatever needed to be done to fulfill my dream. Elsewhere was a place where I would feel useful. Or a place where I could start over, a place where no one knows me giving me the chance to be who I really am. Or the place I could go to just be someone else. Elsewhere was always this magical place that is not here where I felt stuck. Here where I felt like I was hitting a wall no matter where I turned, here where there was nothing new to do, no one new to meet.
I tried running to this elsewhere. Whether it was a different town or a whole different country. It was all good because of the novelty of the place, but it kept me hooked on the outside, so what I needed to find about myself, or become, or change within me, I could not do it. I felt just as stuck. Maybe even more. The walls transformed into language barrier, culture barrier, not knowing the place, not knowing where to start anything that I would have wanted to do. It was all very beautiful, exciting and very alien.
But there was something else that all these “eslewheres” gave me. I didn’t find myself, I din’t find my dream and did not suddenly transform into a whole new person. But instead I learned Continue reading “The magical place of Elsewhere”