Who are you when you are in love?

“Is it only when you are in love with another person that you see them as they really are? And in the ordinary way when you are not in love with people, you see only a fragmented version of that being? Because when you are in love with someone you do indeed see them as a divine being and suppose that’s what they are truly. And your eyes have by you beloved been open, in which case your beloved is serving to you as a kind of guru, an initiator. […] or you could put it this way, which is another aspect of it; that by falling in love and by falling in love not just as a sort of sexual infatuation, cause it’s always more than that, isn’t it? […] But when you fall in love it’s much more serious involvement. You just cannot forget this person, you feel miserable when not in their presence, you’re always yearning: let’s see more of each other, let’s get together, we’re completely entangled. Then, you see, a kind of what I call, spiritual element has been introduced.[…] Falling in love is a thing that strikes like lightening and is therefor extremely analogous to the mystical vision.” – Alan Watts

 

Falling in love makes you get out of your comfort zone, explore new things, discover new worlds. When you are in love you are more open to adventure, to learn new thin
gs. You seem to be a whole different person. But are you, really?
Or is it just that when you are in love you see yourself through the eyes of the person who is in love with you, and you let yourself really be free in all your aspects because you are just as perfect and whole as they see you and as you have always felt deep inside that you are? Continue reading “Who are you when you are in love?”

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As whole as we can

Djuna Barnes said: “A man is whole only when he takes into account his shadow” and C. G. Jung said: “I’d rather be whole then good.” He is also the one to talk about the shadow, a term Jung introduced in psychology to designate the unconscious aspect of the personality, “the thing a person has no wish to be”. To put it plain and simple, while we might hate things like being greedy, lazy, aggressive, seductive, manipulating, toad-eating etc, we are most likely to have those very things lurking around inside of us, but we keep them very well guarded and don’t allow them to manifest. Or so we think.
For a very long time I loathed manipulation and thought I did my best to avoid doing it. I hated lies and thought of myself to be one of the most honest people I know. I played the role of the savior for victims and thought I hated the aggressor. These are just a few of the things that come to my mind regarding how I saw myself and the image I had about myself. Then I went into therapy, and in the past 2 years and a half I have discovered what Jung would call the shadow. Further more, I have discovered I cannot be whole, I can not be really myself until I come to recognize and accept all these things as a part of myself. Yes I do lie sometimes and I do cut corners; yes, I do manipulate – less now that I am conscious of doing it – and yes I am just as bad as the aggressor when I jump to the rescue of a victim, because I place her in a position of inferiority, acting as if I know better for her, therefor annulling the person that is the victim.
You know the pink elephant in the room? Well, it’s there whether we like it or not. As long as we are going to ignore Continue reading “As whole as we can”

(Dis)Connect

We shield ourselves with knowledge. Information is power as we all know. And we all want power, we all want to feel strong, untouchable. But when we get there we realize it is a lonely place. A place where there is no connection, except to wi-fi, to acquire more information so that we feel powerful again, this time in hopes that the others might feel attracted to us so powerful that we are. And they are, as they have always been attracted to gods. But gods are dangerous, so people do not get to close and they do not trust gods. There is no connection there either. Not to others, not to oneself.
Fortunately there will always be one that will fall for this power that we hold and handle like a mighty sword. And that one will Continue reading “(Dis)Connect”

Take off your mask

Take off your mask. It doens’t help, it actually only makes it worse. It makes it harder to be. Because that is just what you want, right? To be? Of course. To be happy, to be yourself, to be accepted, to be loved, to be in that state of blissfulness that only trust can give you. Trust in yourself, trust in others, trust in love, and trust in the ultimate kindness of human kind. And love… Oh, love! Such a cliche, isn’t it? Continue reading “Take off your mask”