As whole as we can

Djuna Barnes said: “A man is whole only when he takes into account his shadow” and C. G. Jung said: “I’d rather be whole then good.” He is also the one to talk about the shadow, a term Jung introduced in psychology to designate the unconscious aspect of the personality, “the thing a person has no wish to be”. To put it plain and simple, while we might hate things like being greedy, lazy, aggressive, seductive, manipulating, toad-eating etc, we are most likely to have those very things lurking around inside of us, but we keep them very well guarded and don’t allow them to manifest. Or so we think.
For a very long time I loathed manipulation and thought I did my best to avoid doing it. I hated lies and thought of myself to be one of the most honest people I know. I played the role of the savior for victims and thought I hated the aggressor. These are just a few of the things that come to my mind regarding how I saw myself and the image I had about myself. Then I went into therapy, and in the past 2 years and a half I have discovered what Jung would call the shadow. Further more, I have discovered I cannot be whole, I can not be really myself until I come to recognize and accept all these things as a part of myself. Yes I do lie sometimes and I do cut corners; yes, I do manipulate – less now that I am conscious of doing it – and yes I am just as bad as the aggressor when I jump to the rescue of a victim, because I place her in a position of inferiority, acting as if I know better for her, therefor annulling the person that is the victim.
You know the pink elephant in the room? Well, it’s there whether we like it or not. As long as we are going to ignore Continue reading “As whole as we can”