Confessing into change

For a very long time now I have refused to show and talk about my feelings or explain myself to anyone who is not extremely close to me. Extremely close are only my husband and my best friends. Even from them I am sometimes hiding how I feel, especially when I think they might be influenced in taking a decision. Do you know why that happens? Because I truly believe that expressing your feelings has a manipulative purpose. I know with my conscious mind that is not always true. But I still have not been able to really convince myself of the fact.

I grew up with a parent figure that used feelings to get us kids to do things. Then I was in a relationship for ten years where he would use emotional blackmail and emotional manipulation on a daily basis. He would withdraw his Continue reading “Confessing into change”



We shield ourselves with knowledge. Information is power as we all know. And we all want power, we all want to feel strong, untouchable. But when we get there we realize it is a lonely place. A place where there is no connection, except to wi-fi, to acquire more information so that we feel powerful again, this time in hopes that the others might feel attracted to us so powerful that we are. And they are, as they have always been attracted to gods. But gods are dangerous, so people do not get to close and they do not trust gods. There is no connection there either. Not to others, not to oneself.
Fortunately there will always be one that will fall for this power that we hold and handle like a mighty sword. And that one will Continue reading “(Dis)Connect”